Oct 7, 2013

New blog, which will actually be kept up and revised continually!

I have recently formed a band in Provo, UT.  We are called "The Homeless Boys," and we will be performing in the coming months (hopefully years?)  The band blog will be continually updated, and the url is:
Follow me there if you actually want to keep up with my ideas :D.  I'll be posting things there, mostly regarding the band, but also just thoughts and things and ideas.  Thank you, blogging community, and may "Nuclear Kazoo" continue to live on in memory even though it faded, not with a bang, but a whimper.

May 17, 2011

Post-Midnight Musings on a Mellow Kazoo

Disclaimer:  This stuff doesn't mean anything.  Don't expect to have your horizons broadened.  Furthermore, don't judge my mental condition based on this glowing example of brain vomit.  This is not a message to the masses.  It's something else.

In order to bring myself into conformity with the vast majority of my time zone, I'm probably supposed to be sleeping right now.  But sleep happens every day.

I'm in a musical group of sorts.  We are not called Lionel Pritchert and the Wolfington Brothers.  We are also not called the Robo Goats.  We are also not called Toxic Sloth or even Red and the Left Butt-Cheeks.  I also didn't change my name to Charizard or Jethro Moonquaker.  "Why not?" you may ask.  Well, I didn't think of changing my name to those things until now, and I don't really have plans to quake the moon, so that name would be impractical.

If human existence were to be compared to a road... actually, let's not.  That road would be much too disorienting to think about seriously.

Sometimes the world inside my head replaces the real world and I get lost in ideas rather than concrete occurences and things.  Days and nights like that are depressing to me.  My thoughts are all vying to be seen as most important, and by so doing they crowd out reality and make me lose sight of meaning.  There are a lot of thoughts out there.  Do we have to be rooted in reality to find meaning?  Do we need meaning?  I SUPPOSE THAT IT HELPS IN COMMUNICATION.  I wasn't yelling; my pinky slipped.

In a world where people don't care about each other, where is the meaning?  Why do people put value on things that are actually worthless?  Is confusion so widespread that people begin to value pieces of paper more than people?  Have humans progressed as a race for thousands of years simply in order to better compete with each other?  When people compete, what do they think they're going to gain from winning?  Is evolution so cruel that when the bare essentials for survival have all been accounted for, we instantly turn to the violent destruction of others?  Why can't people care more about other people?  Why can't I follow my own advice without resistance?  Have I put up barriers to reduce my love and protect myself?  Yeah.  Havn't most people done the same?  I don't know.  My walled mind is a safe place, but is it a happy place?

Walking around outside is good for the bones as well as the mind.  I would recommend it to myself more often.  You can have a reason, or you can not have a reason.  Walking is one of those things that doesn't require such trivialities.

May 8, 2011

The Black Mirror

Yeah.  Think about it for a minute.

What do you see reflected in a black mirror?  You see the absence of existence.  You have a clear window to the void.  When you look in a normal mirror, you see yourself, and remember past events which have shaped your current person.  When I look into a mirror, I hope to see a friend to many, and an enemy to none.  I hope to see a person who would care about me if I was someone else.  I hope to see a person devoid of pride, and bursting with charity.  I hope to see one with a great capacity for love and forgiveness.  I can't say that I ever fully see that, but I want to see it.

The black mirror comes into existence, or rather replaces existence, when one ceases to be a human, and becomes the void.  If we give nothing and take everything then what are we but living vacuums?  Perhaps even mosquitoes on the arm of the human race.  Vacuums, mosquitoes, and black mirrors all suck.  I hope to never subscribe to the self-absorbed lies of the world.  When one ceases to be interested in people, and instead takes stock in things, their reflection is a shadow, and their impact on humanity is negative.  I want to fill the void within myself and others; I want to fill it with things of lasting and true importance.

Feb 22, 2011


It's been a while, but a topic has recently come to my attention that must be addressed.  Zombies.  Who are they?  What do they want?  Why do non-infected human beings insist on mercilessly killing them?  I will answer all of this and more.

False depiction of zombie.
Who are zombies?  Zombies are, first and foremost, people.  They are sick physically and mentally, but they are still people.  Some believe they are subject to an evil overmind who has raised them from the dead, but this is not true.  These people would be confusing zombies with undead.  Zombies are living, breathing human beings who have been infected with the zombie virus, which changes their genetic structure to make them more prone to violent tendencies and physiologically less dependent on the normal organs that a human requires to live.  The virus actually creates a new section of their brain, which I have taken the liberty of naming "the zombellum."  The virus does not, however, turn them into mindless killing machines.  Their culture has evolved in such a way that they have more fully embraced the violence that is present in their zombellum, but this does not mean that they cannot resist it.  They are often referred to as a different race than humans.  I think that this is fair because the zombie virus changes them immensely.  However, we must never forget that they are, in all actuality, humans.  They still have the benefit of agency, and although some may be addicted to the taste of the human brain, these creatures are not monsters.  Chocolate fudge actually makes a good substitute for brains, or so it seems with the numerous zombies I have tested.

Another fake zombie.
What do they want?  They, being humans, thirst after knowledge.  They just want to better themselves, and benefit society.  Their aims are noble and wise.  Unfortunately, when the zombellum is allowed to take over their being, judgment is impaired, and as a consequence they go out seeking human brains.  Now, you and I know that eating brains won't actually make you smarter, but to a common zombie this simple truth is not so plain.  Their culture is young, and their language is unsophisticated, so actions (their only real form of expression) tend to become the social norms.  There is actually some research on supposed zombie art found in Norway, but it has not been studied enough to qualify it as formal evidence of zombie free expression.  If we only attempted to communicate somehow, we could teach them that they don't need to eat brains in order to better themselves...  They just want to be accepted and they don't know how to gain that acceptance.

Evil propaganda.
Why are the virus-free humans bent on the destruction of these unfortunate virus-carriers?  Well, obviously the virus-free homo sapiens is concerned for his/her own safety, and wanting to preserve his/her brain.  This is perfectly normal behavior.  Self-preservation is the most basic instinct, and humans have the right to follow that urge.  The problem arises when people decide that the proper course is to mercilessly destroy any infected being.  I ask you this:  is it fitting and proper behavior for a human being possessing all of the privileges and responsibilities of agency to obliterate a zombie female's central nervous system with a sawed-off shotgun?  How can non-infected humans claim to have the moral high ground on zombies when they seek after brains with a greater degree of lust and hatred?  It is my personal theory that zombies embraced their violence-prone culture as a result of their human interactions.  Perhaps more funding should be put into the zombotomy research fund.  (A zombotomy is a new surgery designed to remove the zombellum, but the technology is fairly new.)

 I don't move for complete anti-violence.  As I stated before, one has every right to defend oneself.  I only want zombies to be treated as equals.  Previously, zombie killing has not been considered a crime in any of the 50 United States.  They have been viewed as inferiors, and considered a virus in of themselves.  Specially trained teams have been employed to eradicate them from the Earth.  We need to be the bigger people, and stop the hate.  All I am saying, is give peace a chance.

Dec 24, 2010

My Take on The Run-Away Train Dilemma

Me thinking about run-away trains
In response to my own post, here

To begin with, I realize that in pondering this question, we are merely thinking hypothetically, and our answers bear only little weight in reality.

The moral thing to do, in my mind, is to pull the lever and push the man.  I don't know if I could actually push the man when the time for action came, but I think it would be the right choice.  Many argue that the weight of the one man's life would press heavily on their conscience if they knew they had caused his death, but I say that if I didn't pull the lever then the lives of the ten would weigh more heavily on me.  It is true that you did not put yourself in this situation, however, I argue that since you are in the situation, you are endowed with a responsibility to make a decision, and thus not pulling the lever, and not pushing the man would become murder of omission.  From a utilitarian perspective, my choice is correct, but there are many who would argue against it.  From a Taoist perspective, for example, we just need to let things happen, and not mess with the natural way.  I actually disagree with this because I feel that we should be actively, not passively pursuing the greater good.  From a Mormon statement of faith, someone argued that death is not the end, so allowing the ten to die would be better than having the murder of one on your hands.  I would agree from a statement of faith that death is not the end and that killing is an evil and terrible thing.  However, I would argue against this perspective because I feel that I would have the murder of ten (and thus the greater sin) on my hands by not acting.  From yet another interesting perspective I heard, the directness of the action determines morality.  The person who presented this perspective said that it was ethical to pull the lever but not push the man because they would feel better about pulling the lever than pushing the man.  I agree that these two actions would feel different, however, I feel it would be selfish to change your opinion of morality based on this feeling.  The person who argued this perspective also said that by pulling the lever, they were only acting on the train, and thus the degree of murder was somehow lessened.  To this I say that when you flip the switch on an electric chair, you are only electrocuting a chair which then acts on a living human being, or by pulling the rope to drop the guillotine, you are only acting on a rope, which in turn acts on a giant blade, causing it to fall and sever a head.  This method of execution is removed by at least two degrees, but does that make it ethical?  As you can see, this argument amounts only to ridiculousness in my mind.  I argue that the moral thing to do in this situation is to end the least people's lives no matter how you have to do it.  However, this does not necessarily mean I would be able to push the man onto the tracks.  But beyond this, and forgoing all perspectives and reasoning concerning the question, I would say that if you are in this situation and you try to the best of your ability and knowledge to do the right thing, acting without selfishness or malice toward any, you have not committed any wrong.

Dec 22, 2010

A Dream

For a long time now, I have had a dream.  I have dreamed that one day, the snow would come, but the snowplows would not.  Some say this is madness, that no one would be able to leave their homes, see each other, obtain groceries, or survive the week.  I argue the contrary.  It would push people backwards, into another time.  A time without cars and other modern complications.  It would help people realize that there are other people on Earth too; that walking somewhere may be less convenient, but you can discover so much more; that we function with so much surplus and we really don't need most of the things we have.  However, I've realized that you can't force people think or act the way you want them to (that's Lucifer's plan), and most people would insist on chaining their tires and driving everywhere come hell or high water.  So for now, I mostly want the plows to break down so that I can ski down the hill by my house.

Dec 20, 2010

Nuclear Beards Re: "The Christmas Beard"

After reading "The Christmas Beard" at Two Wizards in a Covered Wagon, I came to the conclusion that I couldn't simply reply to the post.  As you may have heard, I am also on the crusade for the Christmas beard.  I'll admit, I don't have many credentials aside from being able to grow sideburns somewhat, but I'm going to do my best for the quest.  Because I'm also involved in this venture, I feel obligated to include a few more essential beards.  Now, let us embark on a journey of beardliness.

 Jozi is absolutely correct in asserting that this beard is terrible.  The neck beard is almost never a prudent approach.  I would also agree with Jozi in saying that his second neck-beard accurately portrays the most evil man on the face of the planet.  Because of above picture, some have claimed that Thoreau can't grow a good beard and he was smoking something strong at Walden, however, I argue that this was just a stage for Thoreau and he soon realized the error of his ways.

Voila.  Thoreau transcended to a higher plane in his later years.  Some may mock me, but if I could choose to have any hairstyle, this would have to be it.

Honestly, Abe made a juvenile-Thoreauesque mistake here.  Lincoln was an incredible man and president.  Let us judge not that we be not judged, but Lincoln's facial atrocity scarred the beard-wearing world for about five score years.

This dude took a page out of Merlin's book.  If only my hair was this color...  Unfortunately we can't all be saints and sorcerers.

Master Lennon, the innovator.  I may be able to pull this one off someday in the not-too-distant future.  If I can't have the Thoreau, I'll certainly take the Lennon, or a variation on the theme.

...I don't know.  This one kind of frightens me.

...Same here.

Oh yeah.  Yes.  I don't know if I could grow this one over Christmas Break, but I can dream.

Rasputin deserves an honorable mention, but the dark wizards just can't really compare to Merlin, Gandalf, Dumbledore, Santa, and the boys.

No explanation required.  Epic.

Something tells me that these aren't quite natural, but they are pretty dang sweet.

The world is full of many beards.  Some beautiful, and some horrendous.  If you need tips growing beards,  The internet is there for you.
Also, here is a beard trustworthiness chart that I found pretty accurate.